


Joyful GIrl, buffy azygous.

by iskierka



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-02
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 03:09:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/705832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iskierka/pseuds/iskierka





	Joyful GIrl, buffy azygous.

Joyful Girl

Author: Briar  
briar@spurky.net

 

Rating: R  
Content: Mild language  
Category: Buffy  
Spoilers: “Triangle”, immediately after. Buffy-centric songfic.

Feedback: Email me.  
Authors Notes: Enjoy it if you can..  
Disclaimer: besides the idea of this exact piece, it all belongs to either Joss  
Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB or Righteous Babe ani difranco

She hasn’t changed her clothes after banishing the troll. Her clothes  
are sweaty- rumpled, and her hair has come undone. A tear slowly makes  
its way down her cheek.

Barely any sore muscles at all.

i do it for the joy it brings 

Actually, Anya had done it. To the world of the trolls. Or shrimp. Damn  
stupid shrimp!

because i'm a joyful girl  
She starts to brush her hair, starting on the left side, after taking  
out the remaining pins keeping it in place.

 

because  
Are they happy all alone?? Just other shrimp to keep them company? Who  
would want them anyways???! Who could love a world with just shrimp?

the world owes me 

Dreams have always plagued her. Tears are flowing freely now- but she  
hasn’t gotten to use the cream to take her eye-shadow away. Light  
mascara. Why is it running like a black, brackish river? She barely used any  
at all this morning. At least she didn’t think so.

Sometimes she doesn’t know why lately she’s been dreaming of ice cream,  
-maybe lack of Riley kissage? Riley-massages?? Riley white noise?  
Mom-all-the-way back to almost-all better now?? - waking up with a funny  
ache in her stomach. A funny, empty ache. The not-so-funny kind. It  
couldn’t possibly be because of unfulfilled Ben-and-Jerry’s cravings?

She doesn’t know it, but she dreams while her eyelids flutter unto and  
in oblivion in some forgotten plane of that Lethe-world, where Morpheus  
dwells to coax the forbidden into form and shape, into play of dancing  
Impossibility.

Where swords still can’t send- NEVER, they *Never Send- * True Loves  
into Hell; where those still neither caused Jenny-deaths, nor left  
without saying goodbye...

nothing 

Big, brown chocolate eyes. With sympathy for Faith.

 

and we owe each other the world 

Riley’s heart going thump-Thump, thump Thump. Why is Dawn here?

 

i do it because it's the least i can do

Glory, glory. 

Mom went out with Dawn for something.

The left side’s all brushed out and looks frazzled from all the  
brushing, the other side’s all frazzled out from being neglected.

 

i do it because i learned it from you  
I kicked Dracula’s ass. And he told me you were a loser.

i do it just Because i want to  
Lots of lights in Hellmouth. Cemetery lights. Flashlights. Willow-spell  
lights. Ugly-Acathla opening lights. //why not dark? just makes it more  
confusing; damn portals// Hospital waiting room lights.  
Making-love-to-candles lights. Angel-eye lights...

because I want to 

She is sobbing, sobbing on the floor.

everything i do is judged

Crawls back up to her knees, to stare at the mirror. Let’s have a  
pity-party, Chosen One. Party of one.

and they mostly get it wrong but oh well 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Riley, I’m sorry.

'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged 

Clean break. Howler monkeys?

and the woman who lives there can tell  
I wish stupid Parker was a stupid vampire so I could break his fuckin’  
neck.

the truth from the stuff that they say  
Mom, I love you. Love you. Love you.

Her face is all crumpled. Aftershocks rock her frame. And she wonders  
when it will be good enough. And she wonders how long the death wish  
will be shelved. 

 

and she looks me in the eye  
Throw me a bastard I can kick in the ass.

and says would you prefer the easy way?  
Starts wiping, there’s a lot of wet on face. Snot, even. If they could  
see her now...

no, well o.k. then don't cry 

Unbends. She’s short, but she unfurls to her full height. Stands tall.

and i wonder if everything i do 

Starts to take off her clothes.

i do instead of 

Takes the hair off her face, ponytails the stray bits and puts all the  
frazzled in a neat bunch.

something i want to do more  
No.

the question fills my head  
No.

i know that there's no great plan here  
Stop it.

this is just the way it goes  
and when everything else seems  
I’m fine. Honestly OK.  
unclear  
No trace of all the smudges.

i guess at least i know  
A strand of hair hides a bit of shadowed face, she pushes it back  
impatiently.  
In doing so, a stray tear trails slowly down.

She whispers, “Miraculous love.”  
i do it for the joy it brings... 

~~~~~~  
http://www.oocities.org/deadlyconcoctions/archive/fics/briar/joyfulgirl.htm


End file.
